Back in the early 90's when the waif thin, 'Super Model' look was all the rage women were starving themselves to look like 12 year old boys all for the sake of fashion. And many women, the world over, were needlessly miserable.
In all honesty not everyone can achieve the super skinny, starving for days on end look. And women nowadays are celebrated for having sexy curves more than being all skin and bones. But growing up I was too fell victim to the skinny girl madness and was none too happy in doing so.
Being a solid, healthy size 14 throughout my High School years I tortured myself day in and day out trying to get down to a size 4 and beating myself up year after year when my attempts failed. If someone had told me that when I left High School and became an active member of 'the real world' it wouldn't matter if I was a size 4 I wouldn't have tried so hard.
When I reached my late teen's I realized that there are in fact men in this world who do NOT like super thin women. They love curves, they love larger breasts, they love a lil booty on a woman and I was celebrated for having a body.
When I reached my mid twenties, two children and divorce later, I had reached size 16/18 and found myself once again on the playing field. Even then I didn't kill myself over being a size 4. I again found many men who found my body very appealing and I learned that if I wanted to lose weight it was going to be for me, for my health and for my own peace of mind, not to attract a mate.
As a mother of a preteen it is often brought to my attention that my child is already concerned about her body image. UGH...I really wish she could just be 7 years old forever sometimes. She just started cheer leading and is super self-conscious of how she looks in her uniform in comparison to the other girls. I wonder if I annoyed my mother this much? I tell her all the time that she is a perfect size for her and that she shouldn't be concerned about a number rather than whether or not she feels healthy. She's a size 4 now..and she's 5'3 and she worries about 'getting fat'...my goodness.
I tell her that her weight will fluctuate up and down throughout her life and that no one should ever make her feel like she isn't perfect, that she has to fit some cookie cutter mold to look good in the eyes of others and that any boy (and eventually man) who truly loves her will love her no matter what her body looks like. She is perfect the way she is.
All little girls should be told that when they grow into women there are men in love with every shape and size around and that they have no reason to kill themselves to snag a man who doesn't love them for them. Someone so superficial to judge you in your entirety based solely on the shape and size of your body is not worthy of your company or your time. The proper man for you will love you no matter what you look like when you first meet him and he should embrace your body and love it the same way you do, or hit the curb..
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